Friday, 6 February 2009


I was reading Ruth Ostrow's weekly article in the Weekend Australian's magazine written in response to dialogue from a movie she had watched recently.
"I love him but I am no longer still "in love" with him".
Disagreeing and exploring further how she feels about this statement, she tells of the word "Tzigavoin" that is used in the Yiddish language to describe a highly valued form of profound love!
This describes a love that develops over many years of shared experience (Agape in Greek) surpassing the erotic from of romantic love (Eros in Greek).
She goes on to note that Jungian analyst Robert A Johnson describes Eros as a love of passion and desire that is fragile and fleeting but not enduring. 
It inspires creative acts, the soul and loins in to action fading overtime in to Agape, the more profound and lasting form of love. 
His concern is that Westerners are brainwashed into thinking that Eros is the only valid form of true love and that when the passion diminishes they no longer have a relationship. 

What is my experience? 
Well, whilst in Eros, I do seem helpless to do the things in my life that I normally like to explore and do and that it is a somewhat of a relief when it eventually fades and I can return to doing so. 
It has taken many relationships over many years to understand and appreciate.

I am comforted that my learned experience is supported by RO, who concludes her article by noting that tzigavoin gives a couple the chance to explore and mine their own inner creativity together, knowing they have a stable and enduring platform from which to work.
However, my experience also shows that it is helpful if Eros does make a return regularly to stoke the now well established but slow combustion coals.

That is the love I have - which one do you have?

1 comment:

  1. Fuck, I hope he IS talking about me!! Yes,I have to is also how I feel. Nice to know there are some trade-offs for losing one's youth.