Ominous, definitely ominous!

Not what one who lives in a high fire risk area likes to see!

A few more rays of sunshine............

Down at beach called Lights

A little ray of sunshine..........

In the morning on our deck!

My bicycle - once a tortoise now a hare!

Over the weekend, I installed an electric conversion kit that I had purchased from Solarbike, onto my 15 year old Trek hybrid. The motor is 200watt and powered by a 36V lithium battery. This combination should allow me a top speed of 30+km/hr with the battery lasting for around 50kms before it needs to be recharged.
I have ridden it to work for the last couple of days and I can report that it has turned my bike into a rocketship! I am arriving at work in half the time it normally takes and no longer in a lather of sweat. I seem to be able to use a higher gear overall even without the assistance of the motor because I can use the motor as I am starting to pedal to get me up to a good speed which I can maintain with further blasts from the motor as required. There is a little more friction with the motor off, but in reality it is not really an issue.
There is a hell hill just before my home that I have been forced to push the bike up as my usual strategy of zig zagging up does not do the job. With the electric motor, I can get all the way up without too much trouble albeit in the lowest ratio.
So it has made making the decision to use the bicycle a far more viable proposition and I am still getting plenty of exercise. Highly recommended and I can confirm that:
"Electric bicycles are a joy to ride, without even using the pedals it is possible to travel over 30 km on one charge and further if you pedal. The bicycles are healthy, quiet and relaxing and are ideal for people traveling up to 40 km each day. There are so many good reasons to ride an electric bike. Firstly, they are very healthy. Because the bicycle is so much more enjoyable to ride than a regular bike you use it far more often. You will use it for most journeys and when you do you will have no concerns for hills, traffic, parking, getting sweaty, wind or distance. Because you can pedal as much as you feel like you will gradually begin to increase your fitness and will tend to cycle more – all in a super relaxing healthy way! Because you ride faster using less energy the wind chill keeps you cooler and it seems that sweat it totally eliminated. Electric bikes are also very safe, in some ways more so than a regular bike. With the increased speed you do not suffer from being dangerously overtaken nearly as often. Also, you will not feel the need to rush downhills at dangerous speeds. Costs and convenience of using an electric bike are incredibly superior to using a car. The initial outlay will be $800 for a high quality conversion kit with the best lithium ion batteries available. There are no insurance or registration costs and maintenance is very minimal – the same as a regular bike. The motors are brushless, which means the only moving part is the wheel and they will last a long time with no maintenance. The only additional cost you should have is for a new battery every 3 – 5 years. This works out to be about 1 cent/km! Finally and most importantly, electric bikes are a great way to aid the environment by reducing your carbon footprint. The continual burning of fossil fuels is not sustainable and probably the best way you can help is by consuming less petrol! We cannot avoid using commercial energy unless we revert back to the stone age but you can reduce your usage dramatically. Using renewable energy will also push along the technology in a sustainable direction."

Oh well - good try!

Bento Box - One of the South Coast's best kept secrets?

Hidden away on the corner of the South Coast Highway and Hollings Road as you enter Denmark from Albany is a terrific foodie business called "Bento Box". One of our discoveries, since we started building here in Denmark, and now a regular haunt you can look forward to:

• Great Asian inspired decor, gifts ( even kimonos!) and dry foods of all sorts
• Great coffee
• Great sushi
• Lots other great foodie delights
• Great gelato
• Consistent, tasty, well prepared and very well priced sit down or takeaway meals

Do yourself a favour next time you happen to be visiting Denmark and drop in and enjoy!

Islam - For those with a need to know more!

Probably the definitive english translation of the Quran with excellent explanations. Click on the image to access a pdf of this remarkable work.

Muhammad Asad (1900-92) was a converted Jew, named Leopold Weiss at birth. He was no ordinary convert. Asad not only sought personal fulfillment in his adopted faith. He tried to affect the course of contemporary Islam, as an author, activist, diplomat, and translator of the Qur'an. Muhammad Asad died in February 1992 at the age of ninety-one, so that his career may be said to have paralleled the emergence of every trend in contemporary Islam.

Looked twice didn't you?....................................................

.............and yes you are correct - the dolphins put them there! Thanks to Liz for the great shot.

Crikey!

For your further edification, I have added 2 new blogs to my follow list and both are from the Crikey group. The first is their original blog "The Stump" and the second is their Environmental blog "Rooted"

There are another 13 blogs on a wide variety of other subjects/issues that you may also be interested in.

What a magnificent use for an AK47!

Columbian composer Cesar Lopez with La Escopeterra, the result of his brilliant idea to convert a weapon of war into a weapon of peace!
Here it is in action:

Courtesy of Headspace, this caught my eye today!

What is "The Stig" up to?

I was watching a recording of the latest episode of Top Gear when I noticed "The Stig" fussing around in the background as Jeremy and Hammond were discussing the difficulties of acquiring reasonably priced insurance if you are a 17 year old driver in Britain.

Safety at work?

Safety

View more presentations from ramsnake.

Oh so you can sing can you.........?

well check these guys out. Wonderful work and I can't believe that bass voice, just amazing!

George's other website

Here are his answers to a questionnaire (and an interesting preamble) that an intelligent and therefore conversationally able acquaintance sent him.

Is CRAZYGEORGE really as crazy as he claims to be? First, we must see if his erratic behavior corresponds to the dictionary definition of crazy.

According to Webster, crazy is:
1. mentally deranged; insane
2. illogical or impractical; not sensible
3. (informal) wildly enthusiastic; excited

I think the verdict is in: YES! But read on...

Most everyone has behaved in all of these ways at one time or another. Those who never do are just OVERLY MEDICATED! Ha! So this is a character description of approximately 250 million Americans MINUS the 25 million or so on Prozac! Therefore, my definiton of crazy is someone NOT on drugs! Case closed.

---

Profile of CRAZYGEORGE:
Given Alias: George Sodini Residence: Suburban south Pittsburgh, PA Occupation: Computer Systems Analyst Marital Status: Single Bliss Age: Less than forty

---

Interview with crazygeorge

LIVING ARRANGEMENT:
My House, alone, well, the bank owns the house!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?
Silly

YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS?
Home Improvement, Red Green

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
At work, the company logo, home, I use a trackball

FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Risk

FAVORITE MAGAZINES:
Popular Science, Computer Shopper

FAVORITE SMELLS:
Home cooking, sweet fruity gum or candy, spring air (not from a can, though!)

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
That damn dentist drill!....zizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
Leaving work to face at least 4 days off to enjoy nice spring weather.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
What needs done that day.

ROLLER COASTER- SCARY OR EXCITING?
Exciting

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Up to 4, then the machine grabs it for me.

PRESENT (FUTURE) DAUGHTER'S NAME:
Hope to avoid this type of thing.

PRESENT (FUTURE) SON'S NAME:
Not good either.

FAVORITE FOODS:
Seafood, chicken.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?
Absolutely. My 5 1/2 year old car has 123,000 miles, and I take the bus to work.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Never

STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool, I enjoy watching a heavy rain wash away the humidity and dirt.

WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1975 Dodge Dart, a real clunker!

IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE - WHO WOULD IT BE?
Jesus Christ

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Dont drink

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Libra

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
yes

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Independent stock market analyst who spends maybe an hour or two per week giving insight via print or news media. Of course, those analysts make well into 6 figures per year!

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Forget the color, I would just like to KEEP what I have left.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Hell yea, lots of times, I am still single so obviously nothing ever worked out.

WHAT IS ON THE WALLS OF YOUR FAVORITE ROOM?
White paint

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Half full.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?
I am a committed Pepsi drinker, I have a case in my car and drink and drive.

FAVORITE MOVIES?
Old fashioned types, say pre 1960, where the characters had virtue and courtesy. Dirty Harry is good too.

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK?
1970's retrograde tunes some of which you don't hear ANYWHERE. I have to search at flea markets.

ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS?
Right, but I can train my left for things.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
I can't think of any other way.

WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Lots of dust I'm sure.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
3

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Womans basketball, or regular major league baseball.

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:
She is intelligent and therefore can contribute to a conversation. (Pam Quillin)

Here is the site address and more of George's life http://home.comcast.net/~space777/crazyg/index.htm

---

Normal in so many ways but with a terrible twist!

Proud of his house

The obsession revealed and the difficulty of achieving it maybe?

Oh shit!

George Sodini Age 48. DOB 9/30/1960 DOD 8/4/2009 5-10, 155 lbs. Never married. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA

Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. I kept a running log that includes my thoughts and actions, after I saw this project was going to drag on.

November 5, 2008: Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome. This particular one got so much attention and I was just curious. Not like I give a flying fcuk who won, since this exit plan was already planned. Good luck to Obama! He will be successful. The liberal media LOVES him. Amerika has chosen The Black Man. Good! In light of this I got ideas outside of Obama's plans for the economy and such. Here it is: Every black man should get a young white girl hoe to hone up on. Kinda a reverse indentured servitude thing. Long ago, many a older white male landowner had a young Negro wench girl for his desires. Bout' time tables are turned on that shit. Besides, dem young white hoez dig da bruthrs! LOL. More so than they dig the white dudes! Every daddy know when he sends his little girl to college, she be bangin a bruthr real good. I saw it. "Not my little girl", daddy says! (Yeah right!!) Black dudes have thier choice of best white hoez. You do the math, there are enough young white so all the brothers can each have one for 3 or 6 months or so.

December 22, 2008: Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible. After joining this gym, started lifting weights and like it. Much info about weight programs, diet etc on the web. Or anything for that matter. Instead of TV I can Google for hours to relax. TV and most movies are dull.

December 24, 2008: Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29). No shit! Over eighteen years ago. And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated. I have extra money and enjoy traveling, too, wtih my 25-30 days of vacation. LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun. Invited to a party on Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-25 people will actually show. I like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set.

December 28, 2008: Glad I stayed around. All these days off are great. I will shoot for Tuesday, January 6, 2009, at maybe 8:15. I have list of to-do items to make.

December 29, 2008: Just got back from tanning, been doing this for a while. No gym today, my elbow is sore again. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne - yet 30 million women rejected me - over an 18 or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are. A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend. This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a destroyer. Yet many people say I am easy to get along with, etc. Looking back, I owe nothing to desirable females who ask for anything, except for basic courtesy - usually. Looking back over everything, what bothers me most is the inability to work towards whatever change I choose.

December 30, 2008: While driving I radio surfed to a talk show. The caller was a 30ish black man who was describing the despair in certain black communities. According to him, life is cheap there because you are going to die anyway when you get old. It is the quality of life that is important, he said. If you know the past 40 years were crappy, why live another 30 crappy years then die? His point was they engage in dangerous behavior which tends to shorten the lifespans, to die now and avoid the next 30 crappy years, using my example. The host got sarcastic and ended the call instead of trying understanding his point. Agreement wasn't necesary. I put music back on. But it was an interesting, and useful point for me to hear.

December 31, 2008: My anger and rage is largely gone since I began lifting weights. Lifting drains me but I still have energy. Somebody else suggested running but that did not help me. I guess strenuous exercise is necesary for a man. So I just learned that now at 48. Maybe 30 years later than I would have liked. My dad never (not once) talked to me or asked about my life's details and tell me what he knew. He was just a useless sperm doner. Don't know why, find it fun talking to young kids when I visit someone. Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarase me or discourage my efferts when persuing things, esp girls early on (teen years). Useless bully. Result is I am learning basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Seems odd, but thats true. Writing all this is helping me justify my plan and to see the futility of continuing. Too embarassed to tell anyone this, at almost 50 one is expected to just know these things. I hope it doesn't snow on Tuesday. Just thought of that. The crowd will be thin so I would postpone. Shit!

Now that I am on the topic of family and people I know, I might as well make a summary of sorts to show where things stand. This is New Years Eve I have time, no date tonight of course, so:

Honorable mention:

Tetelestai Church in Pittsburgh, PA - "Be Ye Holy, even as I have been Ye holy! Thus saith the lord thy God!", as pastor Rick Knapp would proclaim. Holy shit, religion is a waste. But this guy teaches (and convinced me) you can commit mass murder then still go to heaven. Ask him. Call him at (724) 325-2655. If no answer there, he should still live at 439 9th Street, Oakmont, PA 15139. In any case, guilt and fear kept me there 13 long years until Nov 2006. I think his crap did the most damage. Their web site: http://www.tetelestai.org.

Mum - The Central Boss. 717 Highview Road, Pgh PA 15234. Don't piss her off or she will be mad and vindictive for years. She actually thinks she's normal. Very dominant. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone in the household. A power and control thing. People outside the immediate family like her. Why are people vicious with their closest ones? She is the Boss above all other Bosses.

Michael Sodini - A Boss, my brother (Mike Sodini) 216 Horseshoe Dr, Mars PA - Always the big bully, twice the size of most others. When he bullied or harassed someone, it was the other person who "deserved it". It was always about him. Way to self absorbed, too. Still is. Used to like to embarrass guys in front of their girlfriends. Lots of other shit. Kind of guy you actually loved to hate. The biggest, most self-centered jagoff I know. He took those bullying "skills" into the business world and is doing good financially. He is a big wheel only in his mind. Most people can see thru all his manipulation. He calls only when he wants something.

Sherry - sister - More of a victim than anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We used to be close until her control of L & D caused a conflict. Never the same after.

David - neph, sis's son (girlfriend Mallory Squires). Good young guy, though.

Lisa - niece, sis's daught. Attractive, smart, emotional - all good YW qualities.

Idiots:

Andy Pulkowski - I have been in barrooms and church groups. The worst people by far are the religious types. Especially a right-wing, stiff-faced fundie like Andy. A condescending, demeaning, passive-aggresive person. Frigid, rigid, linear and totally inflexible. Being a very serious person, he cannot hide his frown-lined face. He better not try to smile; lest his face might crack. I knew children of parents who grew up in strict religious homes. Religion has a certain stink to it of guilt, shame, fear, and that moral standard that always contradicts the natural tendencies and desires of a person. Therin lies the conflict. Young person cannot experiment with things to decide on their own and establish their own parameters. So they tend to cut loose and really rebel much worse than the average young person. Ma and Pa never know what goes on. They easily BS their parents because they want to believe their little one is an angel. Andy has a young daughter Bethany Pulkowski away at college, High Point University. I saw her picture on his desk. She's your basic, attractive, young girl. Please reread my entry made on Nov 5th. That's only one thing she can do. You Andy types out there need to further strengthen your strict resolve and do more of the same thing! Because those girls were great when I recall my college years! She is someone's (or many guy's) little hoe now, I am sure.

Another point about andy. How can someone be cold, vicious, sarcastic and generally nasty ALL THE TIME and then make the claim about their church life and how good they are? Total hypocritical idiots.

That's all for now. That felt good.

January 5, 2009: Was at the gym to lift. Very crowded. Tomorrow should be good. There is a woman there that gives me a certain look every time I am there. I decided to walk over and make a comment about the crowds but she left when I finished the exercise. Better that I do not get sidetracked from tomorrow's plan anyways. Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone. Young women were brutal when I was younger, now they aren't as much, probably because they just see me just as another old man. I see twenty something couples everywhere. I see a twenty something guy with a nice twentyish young women. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal. I cannot wait for tomorrow!

January 6, 2009: I can do this. Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie - just going thru the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home.....My mind is screwed up anymore, I can't concentrate at work or think at all. This log is not detailed. It is only for confidence to do this. The future holds even less than what I have today. It is 6:40pm, about hour and a half to go. God have mercy. I wish life could be better for all and the crazy world can somehow run smoother. I wish I had answers. Bye.

It is 8:45PM: I chickened out! Shit! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!

April 24, 2009: Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived. First one was in November. When I began 10 years ago, that used to be a nice place to work. I understand the need to reduce staff when times sour, but this is out of proportion to the economic problems at this time. The economy is shrinking by about 4-5%. They decided not to pay Christmas bonus - for staff that amounts to about 8% of yearly pay. Well, OK. Plus no yearly "merit" raise, another 3.5%. That totals to about 11% cut. Plus two layoffs of 5% staff in each case. Do the math. I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advanage of a bad situation and kill jobs UNNECESSARILY. The second layoff people who actually did work were let go. We all need to pick up the slack so the company can cut beyond what is necesary. Wasn't going to mention it, because of all this shit, it is K&L Gates, the large law firm headquartered here in Pittsburgh. Just call it K&L Gates Corporation. Most people there are OK and I would never have a shoot 'em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far!

I predict I won't survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. RIght now, life is bearable and I can get by indefinitely. Something bad must happen. The paycheck is all I have left. The future holds nothing for me. Twenty five years of nothing fun. I never even spent one weekend with a girl in my life, even at my own place. Also unlikely to find another similar job. I guess then is when I take care of things. I don't have kids, close friends or anything. Just me here. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.

I enjoy writing these entries, I have no plans to go back and edit or even read most stuff already written. If you get bored, just click that "x" at the top, right corner of your browser. Bye.

May 4, 2009: I was so eager to do this last year. The big problem on my mind now is that my job will end soon. One project is being transistioned to another. The other one I am solely responsible, but is being fast tracked to production. I estimate maybe a month. I am not ready for the job market. I am ok what I do, a .NET software developer. Not at the top of the class, but I do a good job. I survived two general layoffs and other little layoffs they are having but keeping quiet about. I hear things.

The problem is I feel too good now to do this but too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over 30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear, worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and sound happy but under it all is something different that seems unchangable and a permanent part of my being. I need to realize the details of what I never accomplished in life and to be convinced the future is merely a continuation of the past - WHICH IT ALWAYS has been. I am making a list of items that will provide motivation to do the exit plan, it won't be published. I always had hope that maybe things will improve especially if I make big attempts to change my life. I made many big changes in the past two years but everything is still the same. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed - nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.

What is it like to be dead? I always think I am forgetting something, that's one reason I postponed. Similar to when you leave to get in your car to go somewhere - you hesitate with a thought: "what am I forgetting?". In this case, I cannot make a return trip!

I like to write and talk. Ironic because I haven't met anybody recently (past 30 years) who I want to be close friends with OR who want to be close friends with me. I was always open to suggestions to what I am doing wrong, no brother or father (mine are useless) or close friend to nudge me and give it bluntly yet tactfully wtf I am doing wrong. A personal coach or someone who knows what he is doing would be perfect. Money is highly secondary for a solution.

May 5, 2009: To pull the exit plan off, it popped into my mind to just use some booze. I want to do this before I get laid off, for reasons not worth mentioning but don't seem to have the balls. After the gym, I stopped at Shop N Save and got a fifth of vodka and a small bottle of Jack Daniels. I haven't had a drink since September 1, 1988, just over 20 years. It doesn't matter now, I need to use it to take the edge off of carrying out the exit plan. I will be taking some every now and then to get used to it and see if the alcohol effects will embolden me. Weed would be fun to try again. I don't know who has any. Life is over, who cares? I just need to use common sense, can't drink and drive, etc. This idea just hit me at a point in time and I immediately acted on it. Same thing happened when I decided to go back to Pitt full time, first day was Monday, May 8, 1989, and to buy the house that closed on Friday, September 30, 1996, to name two examples I remember so well.

The list idea yesterday is working. I carry it in my wallet and add to it. I am feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My life's dilema.

May 6, 2009: I started the JD. About one ounce with some tea to get me started. No big deal.

May 7, 2009: Went to the gym and did mostly cardio. My heart rate was 117 just from walking on the treadmill at 3.4. This should be done a few times a week for maybe 15 mins or so to keep the heart active. I sprinted a few times to push the limits.

May 18, 2009: I actually had a date today. It was with a woman I met on the bus in March. We got together at Two PPG Place for lunch. The last date for me was May 1, 2008. Women just don't like me. There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive. I am looking at The List I made from my May 4th idea. I forgot about that for several days. That tells me where I stand. These problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had the ability to change ourselves - I guess that is incorrect. Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else. I no longer have any expectations of myself. I have no options because I cannot work toward and achieve even the smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be able to work towards what I want in my life. I believe I am deserve that. I read recently it is called "self efficacy", but who knows. Is that more psychobable?

May 25, 2009: I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older woman there, out of the blue, asked if I liked high school. Then quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Intersting why she would ask that. But, thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me.

May 29, 2009: Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much.

June 2, 2009: Some people I was talking with believed I date a lot and get around with women. They think this because I showed an email I got from a hot woman to the department gossip, but it didn't work out. All this is funny. Actually, I haven't had sex since I was 29 years old, 19 years ago. That's true.

June 5, 2009: I was reading several posts on different forums and it seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for nada, bitches! Bye.

July 4, 2009: Wow, already late evening. I stayed in all day. Can't believe there was NOTHING to do today. No parties or picnics. WTF. No need to leave now.

July 20, 2009: Been a long time since last write. Everything still sucks. But I got a promotion and a raise, even in this shitty Obama ecomomy. No more grunt programming. Go figure! New boss is great. He tactfully says when you did something wrong or complements on good things. Never confused with him. But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is. Every person just wants to be fucking nice and say nice things to me. Flattery. Oh yeah, I am sure you can get a date anytime. You look good, etc. Pussies. Awwww, wait. I can just start being self-righteous and say I live a good, clean life. I am holy, that's all Rick Knapp stuff. Hear that you mother fucker: I Am Just Good!

July 23, 2009:

Wow!!

I just looked out my front window and saw a beautiful college-age girl leave Bob Fox's house, across the street. I guess he got a good lay today. College girls are hoez. I masturbate. Frequently. He is about 45 years old. She was a long haired, hot little hottie with a beautiful bod. I masturbate. Frequently. Some were simply meant to walk a lonely path in life. I don't usually look out, but just happened to notice. Holy fuck. I have masturbated since age 13. Thanks, mum and brother (by blood alone). And dad, old man, for TOTALLY ignoring me through the years. All of you DEEPLY helped me be this way.

I wish I can go back to 1975 and fix things. Awe, that wont work, big BULLY BROTHER would assert his bull shit. He was twice my size. He never messed with guys bigger than 5'10, or so. He is a PUSSY at heart. Remember, Michael is my brother (we have common parents, that's all) is still a BOSS. Repetition only for emphasis: HE IS ONLY A BULLY, even at 50ish! Never forget that! Because he exudes confidence. People believe bull shit if delivered WITH CONFIDENCE. Get it??

On the same thought, things occured to me today. Michael NEVER had an attractive girlfriend. Debbie, Barb, Kim, ... then I lost track. Not to say I had any (execpt Pam, who was about a 7.25). He married a Chinese-descent, petite woman with no body, no ass, no chest and no personality. She never laughs or smiles, neither does he. But she is highly intelligent and an excellent cook. I can testify to that! She home bakes her own DELICIOUS wheat bread! But who cares about that type of small bull crap? Mike even mentioned when we were visiting dad that "she's not very attractive".

I don't know where I am going with this. I am getting tired, feels good to write and get it all out.

On still another thought, I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste.

Bye, for today.

August 2, 2009: The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many other areas. Everthing stays the same regardless of the effert I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for about the past 30 years, I have not

August 3, 2009: I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day.

Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works.

Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.

I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.

Also, any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarased, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others.

Miscellaneous:

1. Probably 99% of the people who know me well don't even think I was this crazy. Told by at least 100 girls/women over the years I was a "nice guy". Not kidding.
2. Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby in early 1991. Haven't seen her since she was about four months into it. I knew her sister, Chris, from high school.
3. Net worth slightly more than $250K, (after all debt) as of end of 2008.
4. Death Lives!

What a Grand Design amongst other events can do to you!

One of mine, and I know many other people's favourite TV programs is Grand Design.

On this weeks program, I felt a bit sorry for Barry and his wife who were indeed building a grand design because the project and the events that occurred during it resulted in personal dilemma and change.

This is how Barry looked at the beginning of the 2 year project.

This is how he looked at the end!

Because during the project he had:

1. both hips replaced then
2. an unexpected heart attack resulting in a quintuple bypass causing both him and his wife to question
3. the whole purpose of their rather extravagant, ostentatious life and project and then
4. the Global Financial Crisis hit and all work on the project stopped for awhile and placed them in a precarious financial situation!

After 2 years the house was still not completely finished and both looked shell shocked by the turn of events in their life over the last 2 years.

Inspiring, uplifting & brilliantly arranged!

Always liked Toto's music and here is a great new twist!

A car named after me!?

The Reliant ROBIN!

Every piece of plastic that's ever been made, except a small amount that's been incinerated, still exists.

I was watching a wonderful documentary this morning called "Addicted to Plastic" about the vast problems associated with it's disposal and the myriad of wonderful solutions that have or are being developed.

There are many wonderful solutions, but I was particularly taken with a product produced by Melbourne company, Plantic Technologies, who have produced a starch based plastic with all the capabilities of the petroleum based product but completely bio degradeable as it dissolves in water......and you can eat it too!

It's been cold here lately but........

between the squalls that come through we have had periods of brilliant sunshine and not much wind which has been fantastic.

The climate change skeptics need to know that the weather has changed dramatically on the South Coast in recent years with our summer weather patterns tending to continue through the winter months.

Last night, after having spent most of the day at home (Michelle reporting to her DCA supervisor and myself a rare opportunity to watch the Derby), Michelle and I decided that the poodles needed to get out otherwise they would drive us nuts.

Emu Point is a favourite spot, so, with increasingly ecstatic poodles, we set off.

We arrived, just before dark and well rugged up,

to a windless and glassed off harbour (local commercial fishing boats and recreational fisherman) and enjoyed a very pleasant but cold wander up the beach and back before returning home for Mount Barker chicken shanks marinated in red wine and garlic accompanied by peas, beans, carrots and mashed potato and bloody good it was too!

An all-time favourite one in a million shot!

A very young middle son, Oscar, and not the outcome he was expecting considering he was offering one of our goats a tasty snack!

Stairway to Heaven??

Resource preservation!

I think that those of us who live in the west have really got to start taking car pooling seriously!

Documents To Go for iPhone

I know there are a few of these ( Datacase for instance which I have now ditched) but I have just discovered this very capable application to wirelessly synchronise documents, images etc between your iphone and your Mac.

Install the Documents To Go Desktop software on your Mac which then creates a folder in Documents (or you can choose or create one yourself). It works brilliantly too, but get this you can then can edit any Word documents. I don't just mean change the text but also format it to some degree too.

Very cool!

Diversity - awesome!

So brilliant it reduces me to tears!

Diversity Dance Troupe's Winning Performance in Britain's Got Talent 2009 - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Damn, damn, damn - just replaced my old iPhone

and already spent my Krudd money!

Probably Available June 26th in Oz

The Fastest iPhone Ever

Video

3-megapixel Camera

Voice Control

Compass

Cut. Copy & Paste

Landscape Keyboard

MMS Messages

Spotlight Search

Internet Tethering

Voice Memos

Nike + iPod support built in

Now I know with the release of the new software update I will get many of these features on my iPhone 3G, but I could really appreciate video and a better quality camera with tap to focus.

The Best Way to Get It Off Your Chest - I like this!

When it comes to dealing with a malicious co-worker, pushy family member or some other bloody prick, some of us go for confrontation. Others try to keep a philosophical distance. But for believers in the Waking of the Insects — a Chinese lunar festival in early March, observed almost exclusively in Hong Kong — there's nothing better than paying an elderly woman $6 to take her shoe and beat the pulp out of a crude paper effigy symbolizing the traducer in question. Crouched on plastic stools, Gu and other practitioners lay their effigies on bricks before furiously slapping them with slippers, shoes and, in some cases, high heels. Some chant "I am beating you, petty person! You have air, but you can't breathe! You have feet, but you can't walk!"
Given the financial climate, many of this year's customers have sought job-related vengeance. "Some got fired or laid off, some feel betrayed," says Gu. "They want to get back at people." Elaine Wong, a logistics saleswoman, says that the practitioners "can erase all of the devils around us."
For added malice, some practitioners use needles and blades on the effigies. But, says Chien Chiao, a Taiwan anthropologist and expert in the ritual extensively, "the purpose of beating the petty person isn't to kill someone. The purpose is to tell people to stop messing with you."
Feel like outsourcing your anger then Gu has a big shoe for hire or take the do it yourself approach, build your own effigy (could be a lot of fun), grab a thong and beat the bloody crap out of it! Definitely healing!

All-time most viewed YouTube video

The Next 100 Years

On the way home from work yesterday, I was blown away listening to George Freidman of global intelligence company Stratfor talking about his latest publication.

Here are a few interesting predictions:

1. The Islamist threat is on it's last legs.
2. Don't worry about Russia and China, Japan and Turkey are more of a threat.
3. China will not manage to become a global player due to isolationism and continuing internal problems. Whilst 200 million Chinese are benefiting from the economic situation in China 1.1 billion are not and eventually they will start to do something about it - again!
4. There is not a single country in the world with a rising birth rate threatening the core driver of capitalism - growth and by 2030 countries will be fighting to attract immigrants.
5. By 2040 Turkey, Japan and Poland will become regional powerhouses think Ottoman empire in relation to the first and in Japan's case they will be taking in chinese immigrant labour and exerting influence in eastern Russia following it's decline as a power with the collapse of it's military with Poland picking up the pieces on the western side.
6. A global war to look forward to in 2050 focussed on taking out US military space stations and after two years the US and it's ally Poland will win!
7. The biggest benefit of winning this tussle will be the creation of space based energy-collection facilities together with advances in robotics and other technologies that will ensure continued US dominance.

So don't write the US off yet!

Scribd - an extraordinary resource

Basically a YouTube for books, Scribd is a wonderful document-sharing website which allows users to post documents of various formats, and download or embed them into a web page using its iPaper format.

Scribd currently has more than 50 million monthly users and more than 50,000 documents are uploaded daily.

Not just documents but complete books on pretty well any subject at all.

Scribd allows published documents to be open to the larger Scribd community so they can be downloaded or private and providing you with the option to embed documents in any website or blog in their original "printed" layout regardless of file format.

Scribd recently opened added a store facility allowing authors to sell their books.

Do click on the link above and checkout this amazing resource.

Apple Australia's top quality service

My 8GB iPhone ended up in the washing machine.

What to do, what to do?

• Still under contract for another year with vodafone.
• Miss not having my own music in the car, a camera and SmackTalk!
• Hard to imagine not having the convenience of 24/7 internet/email.
• Been three days and does not look hopeful even though it had dried out somewhat sitting in the kitchen window in the morning sun.

In the meantime, I checked Ebay so I added a couple of likely possibilities to my watch list at $700 and $749.

Serendipitously, when I arrived at work today, Baz called me over to show his iPhone that he had managed to smash the screen on and delightedly related how Apple Australia were going to replace it for him for $260 or so under warranty even though he broke the phone himself.

I also discovered that a new iphone from Apple, had I needed to buy one, was only going to cost $699. So much for bargains on eBay with 16gb unlocked iPhones selling for over $1000 when you can purchase one from Apple (maybe not unlocked) for $799 too!

Umm, I thought, can I do that too? Is my phone still under warranty? Yep it is until tomorrow!

A quick phone call to T4 Technology where I had purchased the iphone to get the serial number and I was on the phone to Apple and so, so easily, quickly and ever so politely had a RepairID and an email with the following instructions.

Dear Robert, Repair ID:
D23002190

Thank you for choosing AppleCare Service.

We have received your request for a replacement IPHONE 3G. Your Repair ID is D23002190.

Visit Repair Status to view the current details of your service request.

Regards,
The AppleCare Team

Repair Details
Serial Number: 86827USJY7H
Problem Description: Physical Damage - Liquid Damage

Repair Costs

The estimated cost of replacing your iPhone is $249.00.

Should this estimate change, we will contact you for authorization to proceed before starting the repair.

Additional Information
You will need to send your IPHONE 3G to Apple before we can send you a replacement. Please enter D23002190 in the Repair ID box on this webpage. Please print the prepaid shipping label that is generated, and then take the shipping label and your IPHONE 3G to Australia Post. Australia Post will provide prepaid packaging for the shipment. Do not include any other items, as they will not be returned to you. The Australia Post agent will send the IPHONE 3G to Apple.

Unbelievable service! All done and looking forward to the replacement phone - Thanks Apple!

Smacktalk - hurts it is so funny!

Even my dour and serious mate Roland was in stitches over this one. A must have for your iPhone!

It was a fabulous moon last night!

I would like to say it was taken returning home from an awesome waveriding session but unfortunately it wasn't.
But after building all day, we then attended the opening of ArtiStories, a Brave New Works # 16 exhibition of artist's visual diaries, that Michelle had been a part of.
Fifteen Denmark artists (Well, Michelle is almost a Denmark resident) presented an exhibition of their visual diaries based on the festival’s theme “Sharing Stories”. The exhibition displayed diaries created by a range of the community’s artists including young and emerging artists as well as established professionals, painters, sculptors, printmakers and graphic artists, who have worked on these books for the last three months! The exhibition also featured a digital projection of images from the diaries.
It was a great opening and attended by a huge number of people considering the population size of the Denmark community.

Here is a little vid made by Andre Steyl of a pre event workshop run by the delightful person and talented artist Trish Ware.

Amazing Ocarina software for lPhone

I have always loved this 5 part harmony from the beginning of Stairway to Heaven.

Already brilliant - iPhone will be so much better later on this year!

iPhone software 3.0 introduces for users:

Cut, copy and paste between applications

Landscape keyboard for email/notes/calendar

Spotlight search

MMS texting

New push technology

Voice recorder

and much, much more.

and for developers:

A new SDK with a 1000 new features providing unparalleled opportunity to add even more amazing apps to the 25,000 already developed and resulting in an incredible 800 million downloads to date - awesome! Follow the link above to see the whole presentation.

Smooth like a river stone!

I was watching a documentary on Joni Mitchell and I was really taken with a comment by David Crosby of her:

"I think she had more understanding than most people do of human beings.

She had already been through some hard things and - what makes human beings get wisdom is paying dues.

Sort of like - you arrive here as a boulder, you knock corners off yourself until you get smooth like a river stone - and she was already starting to get smooth."

It's taken awhile but I am finally starting to get smooth too - whew!

How's your boulder going?

10,000 visits!

RWCN is delighted to announce that there have been 10,000 visits since it's inception a couple of years ago.

I would like to thank all those visitors, who have come from every part of this planet of ours, for taking the time to do so.

I have purposely attempted to make this site non specific and not just a rave about everything that is happening in my own life as so many are.

Hence the use of the word network rather than blog. Thanks again for visiting.

Waveriders (Papa He'e Nalu) - My new blog!

I have come to the conclusion recently that some people's view of the notion of surfing is very narrow and so much so, that they are actually denying themselves by adopting this attitude.

I am not one of those people and rather than using the term "surfer" to describe what I love to do, I am now using the term "Waverider".

Are you a Waverider?

Awesome!

Awesome Drummers - Watch more amazing videos here

Safari 4 - so fast - so cool!

I have been a longtime advocate of Firefox, but following my return to the Apple fold last year and a slight but telling disappointment with Firefox 3 I have been using Safari, Apple's own internet browser, to access the Internet.

Although , I have missed the add-ons that Firefox allows Safari has proven to be very reliable and pretty quick.

Well, I am happy to announce that the recently released Safari 4 is not only blindingly

quick (world's fastest according to Apple) but chockful of cool features and has been optimised for Windows Vista.

Top sites - Thanks to Top Sites, you can enjoy a stunning, at-a-glance preview ( the pic at the top ) of your favorite websites without lifting a finger. Safari 4 Beta tracks the sites you browse and ranks your favorites, presenting up to 24 thumbnails on a single page. You can even customize the display by pinning a favorite site to a specific location in the grid. That locks it into position, so you know just where to find it every time you open Top Sites.Wonder which sites have changed since your last visit? Sites with a star in the upper-right corner have new content. A single click opens the page and updates its thumbnail. Whenever you want to return to your ever-evolving Top Sites page, just click the new Top Sites button in the bookmarks bar.

Cover Flow - New to Safari, Cover Flow offers a highly visual way of reviewing your site history and bookmarked sites, presenting full-page previews of the websites that look exactly as they did when you last visited them.
One look is all you need to recognize the site you want to visit. Simply flip through website previews in Cover Flow the same way you flip through album art in iTunes. Directional arrows let you browse forward and back. Or you can quickly flip through multiple sites using the slider. And when you find the site yo

u want, simply click to open it.

Full Search History - With Full History Search and Cover Flow, what you see is where you went. Safari introduces a dramatic new way to revisit sites, letting you flip through full-page previews of the sites you visited in the past. You may not have total recall, but Safari does, automatically storing all the text and a thumbnail of every page in your history. That makes it easy for Safari to get results even if you remember little about the site you’re searching for.

Just type a word or phrase in the History Search field in Top Sites, and Safari quickly presents you with a list of possibilities. In fact, you can search for anything that was on a page you visited, even photo captions. To jog your memory, Safari presents the sites it finds

in Cover Flow, giving you the opportunity to spot the right site on sight.

Tabs on Top - Tabs offer a great way to have multiple pages open at the same time in a single browser window. And to switch back and forth with a click. Now Safari takes tabbed browsing to new heights — to the very top of the browser window — instantly providing more room for you to enjoy the sites you’re reading.
Safari also makes it easy to create and manage tabs. To create a new tab, just click the + button in the upper-right corner of the Safari window. Want to rearrange tabs? Simply drag a tab by its handle and drop it in a new location in the tab bar. You can also use the handle to drop a tab into another Safari window. Or quickly create a new window by dragging the tab out to the desktop. You can create a bookmark from a group of tabs. Or even tell Safari to open a set of tabs every time you open a new Safari window.

Nitro Engine - Still the world’s fastest web browser, Safari outraces Firefox, In

ternet Explorer, and Chrome. On even the most demanding Web 2.0 applications, Safari delivers blazingly fast performance thanks to the industry’s most advanced rendering technologies.

Using the new Nitro Engine, for example, Safari executes JavaScript up to 30 times faster than Internet Explorer 7 and more than 3 times faster than Firefox 3 based on performance in leading industry benchmark tests: iBench and SunSpider.

In addition to superior JavaScript performance, Safari offers top-flight HTML performance — the best on any platform — loading pages 3 times faster than Internet Explorer 7 and almost 3 times faster than Firefox 3.

Windows Native Look and Feel - If you’re using Safari on a PC with Windows Vista or Windows XP, you’ll feel right at home. That’s because Safari features a native look — just like other Windows applications — including a native title bar, borders, and toolbars.

To provide a consistent Windows experience, Safari now uses Windows standard fonts, but you can choose to use Apple’s crisp anti-aliased fonts if you prefer. Of course, Safari in Windows delivers the same lightning-fast performance provided by the Mac version.

and the one particular add-on I have missed that I have really that I used in Firefox has been addressed

Developer Tools - In Safari, developers will find the best set of development tools ever included in a browser. Just turn them on in Safari preferences and use them to examine the structure of a page, debug JavaScript, optimize performance and compatibility, inspect offline databases, or test experimental pieces of code on the fly. For more specific information about each of the development tools, visit the Safari Dev Center page.

And there's more - Full Page Zoom, Smart Address and Search field, Phishing and Malware Protection.

Soundcloud!

I create a bit of music occasionally firstly in Garageband but of late in Studio Pro since I purchased it for myself for Christmas. 

Although I have a Myspace site, I discovered the more slick Soundcloud today which lets you move music fast & easy. It takes the daily hassle out of receiving, sending & distributing music for artists, record labels & other music professionals. It also aids artists to collaborate on tracks too which is very funky.
Click on the logo above to check it out and if you are creating music yourself I have a drop box on Soundcloud which you can access using the widget on the right of this blog - so as you can send me your music!. 

Bushfire Safety Tips!

They may change, following the atrocious events in Victoria, but an interesting and informative read in any case.

Climate Change!

The IPCC's findings told the world that there is no time left to waste.
Climate change is unequivocal
Unmitigated climate change will threaten our survival
Impacts are "very likely" to increase
Impacts will destroy economic gains
Current climate change abatement will not suffice:
1970-2004: emissions increase of 70%
Projection up to 2030: emissions increase of 25-90%

Love?

I was reading Ruth Ostrow's weekly article in the Weekend Australian's magazine written in response to dialogue from a movie she had watched recently.

"I love him but I am no longer still "in love" with him".

Disagreeing and exploring further how she feels about this statement, she tells of the word "Tzigavoin" that is used in the Yiddish language to describe a highly valued form of profound love!
This describes a love that develops over many years of shared experience (Agape in Greek) surpassing the erotic from of romantic love (Eros in Greek).
She goes on to note that Jungian analyst Robert A Johnson describes Eros as a love of passion and desire that is fragile and fleeting but not enduring. 

It inspires creative acts, the soul and loins in to action fading overtime in to Agape, the more profound and lasting form of love. 

His concern is that Westerners are brainwashed into thinking that Eros is the only valid form of true love and that when the passion diminishes they no longer have a relationship. 

What is my experience? 

Well, whilst in Eros, I do seem helpless to do the things in my life that I normally like to explore and do and that it is a somewhat of a relief when it eventually fades and I can return to doing so. 

It has taken many relationships over many years to understand and appreciate.

I am comforted that my learned experience is supported by RO, who concludes her article by noting that tzigavoin gives a couple the chance to explore and mine their own inner creativity together, knowing they have a stable and enduring platform from which to work.

However, my experience also shows that it is helpful if Eros does make a return regularly to stoke the now well established but slow combustion coals.

That is the love I have - which one do you have?